Bowled over.

I was not in the best of mood yesterday, except for time we had dinner at Secret Recipe or something; cannot remember the name of the cafe we went to. Anyway, the food was not superbly great but good enough to fill my ninety percent empty stomach.

Was bowled over by Uyop's sudden enthusiasm when we had dinner the nite before. He sweetly invited but probably hoping we did not go, if we would be interested in joining him; meeting and bowling with his old school friends or whatever they called themselves - AMBLSS, I think.

Anyways, while we were there - @ Jurong Superbowl, I could not help feeling miserable because they seems to know each other very well; enjoying themselves much while I know for a fact that Uyop wanted to socialize or mingle with them too; BUT he cannot do it freely like the rest did. I cannot imagine myself being that pathetic but I was!! As much, as I wanted to mingle around, it's just not me. I do not mingle easily and it takes me awhile to warm up to people for fear that people will judge me or something. Sickening right? or I am plainly shy, unfriendly, see I cannot even think of a word to describe IT!!

One thing for sure and I hope for, was that my husband has had a great time bowling with his friends. I am very sure his friends did too. There was this particular lady that has a distinctive "I hate you" kind of look and whenever I saw her she gave me an even more "I hate you" look -There was once, I even smiled at her, but I get this icy look again...or was it just me..hmmm. And then, there was this lady whom I think was Uyop's "high school sweetheart"; whom he refused to admit was his "ex-girl", very sweet looking and all, when I heard him asking her something about where??...I pretended I did not hear anything, walked back in to where we came from, to allow them to catch up with what they have missed out - I catch a glimpse of that look that tells me all. I wonder.

I felt pangs of regret coming along with him; all I want is for him to feel free to talk, to mingle.....

I was selfish to go. And for the fact that I went not because I want to really bowl but a selfish reason - I do not want Uyop to drift. Drifted by his past and forget US; his presents, like he nearly did once, too many.

Gotta send the girls to class. No pictures attached and all there is, are pictures of last nites miseries. I just hope things get better today. Argh!! I knew what is coming...the one thing that all women have to put up with every single month unless we are pregnant. Cheers!!