No quotes..
No reasons to smiles..
To summarize my day at work - SAD.
It's Mark's last day at work. It's like only yesterday that this man approach me with, "I believe we havent met. I am Mark Bridge. And the rest is history....."
Stopped here....too sad to move on.
February 05, 2010
February 04, 2010
Talk about COURAGE...
Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose. ~ Tom Krause
Ili, Nylie and Dyna are the reasons, the drives, that give me the courage to explore all things impossible.
I’ve lost too many; my feelings - hurt and battered by people I hardly knew, only to discover myself even beyond my imagination.
There were things I intended to do but procrastinate, not because I wanted to but I have to. Never have the courage to admit that for many years, some things I did just to please my love ones - never for myself, And I just did. The girls are my issue. I regretted not training them the way I should. For example, simple task like doing their own bed when they wake-up in the morning, washing the dishes, doing the laundry from washing, to folding or hanging their own clothes. I should have long time ago after Saro left, stopped having helper.
Till today, though I am contemplating, I am still very much, reluctant to have a helper. I have my reasons.
The luxury of going to a tidied, cleaned and without clothes spilled from the laundry bins home, is over. My only escapade - my once a month date, with dear Uyop – my confidant..… the last months, we travelled to somewhere…….miles away from home, just to be together; only the two of us. Ever afraid of losing someone? Yes I do. I use to cry a lot, afraid of losing my mum. She has been, and will always be, my confidante. We used to talk about lots of things. We still do. Now. Today, I have the courage to admit my life is so blessed - But I took things for granted. And I took my mum for granted. Even Uyop.
How courages can I be? A little.... I am overwhelmed with fear too. Fear of losing my little girls. They’ve grown up so much, so much so, that I’ve almost forgotten that they too would fall in love, go to college, get a degree, get married and out of our home…..but I’ve never really been their confidante. Here is where my mum and I, are world apart. I have tried my very best to talk and listen, but Ili and Nylie only confide to each other but not to me. Probably they are like twins; only different they are born in different year.
Anyways..here's another courages things to do. Sinful. I went to Jurong Point just now to get these lovely cream puffs for Uyop and the girls. I got myself almond sticks; it’s really yummy. I will have to google for the recipes……ANNDDD, I ate the whole lot of almond sticks. Period!
3 things that made me smile today :
1. Almond sticks
2. Cream puffs
3. My trip to Jurong Point………
Ili, Nylie and Dyna are the reasons, the drives, that give me the courage to explore all things impossible.
I’ve lost too many; my feelings - hurt and battered by people I hardly knew, only to discover myself even beyond my imagination.
There were things I intended to do but procrastinate, not because I wanted to but I have to. Never have the courage to admit that for many years, some things I did just to please my love ones - never for myself, And I just did. The girls are my issue. I regretted not training them the way I should. For example, simple task like doing their own bed when they wake-up in the morning, washing the dishes, doing the laundry from washing, to folding or hanging their own clothes. I should have long time ago after Saro left, stopped having helper.
Till today, though I am contemplating, I am still very much, reluctant to have a helper. I have my reasons.
The luxury of going to a tidied, cleaned and without clothes spilled from the laundry bins home, is over. My only escapade - my once a month date, with dear Uyop – my confidant..… the last months, we travelled to somewhere…….miles away from home, just to be together; only the two of us. Ever afraid of losing someone? Yes I do. I use to cry a lot, afraid of losing my mum. She has been, and will always be, my confidante. We used to talk about lots of things. We still do. Now. Today, I have the courage to admit my life is so blessed - But I took things for granted. And I took my mum for granted. Even Uyop.
How courages can I be? A little.... I am overwhelmed with fear too. Fear of losing my little girls. They’ve grown up so much, so much so, that I’ve almost forgotten that they too would fall in love, go to college, get a degree, get married and out of our home…..but I’ve never really been their confidante. Here is where my mum and I, are world apart. I have tried my very best to talk and listen, but Ili and Nylie only confide to each other but not to me. Probably they are like twins; only different they are born in different year.
Anyways..here's another courages things to do. Sinful. I went to Jurong Point just now to get these lovely cream puffs for Uyop and the girls. I got myself almond sticks; it’s really yummy. I will have to google for the recipes……ANNDDD, I ate the whole lot of almond sticks. Period!
3 things that made me smile today :
1. Almond sticks
2. Cream puffs
3. My trip to Jurong Point………
February 03, 2010
So much to do, so little time..........
Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances.
- J. Donald Wlters
I promise myself, to start every blog with positive quote/s. And I delivered.
So much things had happened since I last blogged.
Both at work and home. I am contemplating of getting a helper – NO! Seriously, I do need help. To vacuum and mop the floor. To clear our ever piling laundry. I wish for an invention of auto clothes folder, hanger whatever……….
I do not prepare dinner now. We’ve got help. Dyna’s ex-nanny is such a great help.
Yes, I must say I still need to sort loads of stuff at home to keep it to it’s minimal, and as neat as it can ever be without help. The other day, I saw Sofea washing the dishes and clean up the sink and silently wish for Ili and Nylie to be as clean and tidy as her when it comes to cleaning up the kitchen or home. Because one day, these tasks will be of great help to them.
Speaking of which, I am so unsure what Ili Nadia is going thru. I was quite disappointed that she broke off with Afiq as he has very much impacted her religiously if not much, Alhamdulillah - a little. I believed positive impact on ones life will always be challenged by the devil. I do not like her to associate herself with people like her ex-boyfriend. Though I do not know him – something tells me that boys like him will always take advantage of girls; it doesn’t matter if she’s strong or not. Sweet talking can even lead girls to insanity – true? Probably. Even have sex with him! Now, I know of someone who did! Because she’s afraid of losing him. Nothing I can do to stop that! I wish I have tried harder.
Now Nylie. She’s in her own world. Everyday she’s ever so enthusiastic to go recital. For Allah or Alif?? Great, tell me what can I do to let both of them see that this is not the right time…..
Anyways, I can only pray for my family to always be protected and be given lights to the right path for only ALLAH knows what’s best for us. Ameen.
Last nite, it was kind of funny Uyop had to ask if we’ve been married for 18 years. Consolation. He remembered the year – 1992. Im impressed! Can you imagine this. After series of dates, 7 “boyfriends”, finally in 1987, I decided on the day I met him – His the one for me. Lucky me, he asked me out first. He told me that he ordered cake for our wedding anniversary – now that’s classic of him.
3 things that made me smile today :
1. Me
2. Dyna enthusiasm in ironing her school uniform
3. Uyop's thoughtfulness
- J. Donald Wlters
I promise myself, to start every blog with positive quote/s. And I delivered.
So much things had happened since I last blogged.
Both at work and home. I am contemplating of getting a helper – NO! Seriously, I do need help. To vacuum and mop the floor. To clear our ever piling laundry. I wish for an invention of auto clothes folder, hanger whatever……….
I do not prepare dinner now. We’ve got help. Dyna’s ex-nanny is such a great help.
Yes, I must say I still need to sort loads of stuff at home to keep it to it’s minimal, and as neat as it can ever be without help. The other day, I saw Sofea washing the dishes and clean up the sink and silently wish for Ili and Nylie to be as clean and tidy as her when it comes to cleaning up the kitchen or home. Because one day, these tasks will be of great help to them.
Speaking of which, I am so unsure what Ili Nadia is going thru. I was quite disappointed that she broke off with Afiq as he has very much impacted her religiously if not much, Alhamdulillah - a little. I believed positive impact on ones life will always be challenged by the devil. I do not like her to associate herself with people like her ex-boyfriend. Though I do not know him – something tells me that boys like him will always take advantage of girls; it doesn’t matter if she’s strong or not. Sweet talking can even lead girls to insanity – true? Probably. Even have sex with him! Now, I know of someone who did! Because she’s afraid of losing him. Nothing I can do to stop that! I wish I have tried harder.
Now Nylie. She’s in her own world. Everyday she’s ever so enthusiastic to go recital. For Allah or Alif?? Great, tell me what can I do to let both of them see that this is not the right time…..
Anyways, I can only pray for my family to always be protected and be given lights to the right path for only ALLAH knows what’s best for us. Ameen.
Last nite, it was kind of funny Uyop had to ask if we’ve been married for 18 years. Consolation. He remembered the year – 1992. Im impressed! Can you imagine this. After series of dates, 7 “boyfriends”, finally in 1987, I decided on the day I met him – His the one for me. Lucky me, he asked me out first. He told me that he ordered cake for our wedding anniversary – now that’s classic of him.
3 things that made me smile today :
1. Me
2. Dyna enthusiasm in ironing her school uniform
3. Uyop's thoughtfulness
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
